Dr. Seuss Meets the School Bus

"It's time to go!" yelled the Mom up the stairs.
"Hold on," cried the daughter, "I'm doing my hair!"
The son's only answer was a noisy flush.
Then a muffled voice called, "Have you seen my brush?"

"We have to go. You'll be late for school!"
"Mom, where's my sweatshirt? Does this hat look cool?"
"I can't find my socks.  Oh, look, there's the dog!
She's so cute! I'll post a pic on my blog!"

"My socks don't match.  What'd you do with my pants?"
"Do you think if we dressed her in a tutu she'd dance?"
"Hey, there's my glove!  I thought it was lost!"
"Mom, how much does a dog tutu cost?"

The Mom called again in a voice of despair,
"You're going to be late.  Don't you two even care?"
Oh the places you'd go.  Oh the things you could see,
If you'd just leave the house.  Won't you listen to me?"

The children kept wandering, their brains all afuzz.
Because, after all, that's what a child does.
When it's time to go out, all sense leaves their noggins.
And they don't even hear the worst of tongue floggins.

The kids wandered downstairs, in the cupboards they rooted.
"Mom, what happened to the Loops that are Frooted?"
"I'm not hungry for breakfast, I'll just play with my phone.
I heard the new Doctor's on the next Game of Thrones!"

"We're late!" shrieked the Mom, "Just look at the clock!
If it weren't digital, I'd say, 'Tick tock!'
We're all out of time, school will be starting.
Enough already, we must be departing!"

She told them to move.  She said, "Find your backpacks!"
The children's ears must have been full of wax.
"Did you see that there's corn?  Right here with the limes.
We should sit down and shuck it.  I'm sure we have time."

The Mother gave up, her mind in a fog.
She sat down right there on the floor with the dog.
"These children will drive me to start drinking the hooch!
I've had it!  I'll just sit here and pet the pooch."

The Father stepped in, majestic and strong.
"I'll handle this dear.  You're doing it wrong.
Kids don't listen to yelling, you have to be quiet.
Here, just watch and learn while I try it.

"Kids, time for school.  Put your shoes on and go."
"OK, Daddy," they said, "Just as soon as we show
You how quickly we two can shuck this corn.
You say go, then a corn star will be born!"

"No time for corn, if I may be so bold.
The bell rings in five minutes, yet you're still unsoled.
Put on your shoes and get out the door."
"OK, we'll go, Dad, after just one more."

"You're not listening to me.  You have to go now.
School waits for no man, no dog, and no cow.
I'm losing my patience!  Am I making a sound?
Oh for God's sake, will you QUIT SHUCKING AROUND!"

Except he didn't say "shucking."  After that it gets blurry.
For the kids then got ready in a great shucking hurry
"There's no need to be rude!" they announced with a pout.
"We were ready to go." Then they both flounced out.

There's a moral in here, but I'm not sure what it is.
It might be that you shouldn't yell at your kids.
That's probably not it, for they're really quite troubling.
Your blood pressure and stress levels your kids will be doubling.

Maybe the moral is something quite deep,
Like "Time is irrelevant, and people are sheep.
We don't need The Man telling us when to go and to come."
On second thought: no.  That moral's just dumb.

The moral is this: be they late our quite timely
Your life is your life, your family's your family.
You find your own fun, you make your own luck.
And if you can't learn to laugh, then my friend, you're quite shucked.

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