Why would anyone want to sound like an accountant?

Two more additions to the "words you will never hear me utter, except in air quotes" list:
  • Net-net

  • Net-new

What the heck: unless you're talking about injuries received during a summer fishing expedition or an NCAA basketball victory ceremony, I will baldly state that using "net" as a prefix makes you sound like a dork. Using it as both prefix and suffix makes you sound like you have a stutter, and it adds nothing to your conversation. Just say, "That's all we have," or "This stuff is new."

As far as I can tell, this new phrase is an outgrowth of accounting teminology, that eternal pantheon of hipness. While it's OK to say that an invoice is due "Net 30," I think we would be best served to leave that terminology there. Think carefully about this: do you really want people to associate you and your conversations with taxes and bald, nearsighted men in rumpled suits? I didn't think so.

(Note: all references to accountants in this article are based upon other people's opinions. Personally, I think accountants are great, and wish I could be more like them. Especially the ones who review my tax returns. You guys rock!)
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